Thursday, November 30, 2006
Let's think of the wavering millions who need leaders but get gamblers instead:
In light of Tom Vilsack's announcement for the presidency, here's my brief list of overachieving underdogs.

1. Sally Goldenberg, journalist with the Staten Island Advance. I've had three people I credit with teaching me how to report and write. One is Andrey Slivka of the Kiev Post, who at New York Press took pity on a young'un. Another is John Judis of The New Republic, who for my money is the best journalist for national and foreign affairs in the game. Then there's Sally, my old boss, partner in crime and sparring partner at Rutgers' student newspaper, The Daily Targum. Sally proved herself, again and again, to be the most diligent, fair-minded, no-bullshit reporter around. She never ever made an ethical mistake, she could not be intimidated, and she inspired her staff to live up to her example. For years, we would work until three in the morning and get something between dinner and breakfast at the Edison Diner -- only from there, I would crash while she would be back at the Targum office ensuring that by 10 a.m., everyone would have their assignments. I groaned when I had to write, and supervise, coverage of Route 18 expansion in & around New Brunswick. She was encyclopedic about it.

And that's how she was with everything she covered. Sally bounced around the Jersey papers for a few years after school, going from the Bergen Record to the Star-Ledger and beating her competitors on every story imaginable. Now she's at the Advance. Someone really needs to snatch her up. She'll electrify any newsroom and leave her competition wondering how they got beat as badly as they did. As Sally would say, Hold My Baby.

2. Cat Martino, Brooklyn-based singer-songwriter. Rebecca dragged me to see her at Union Hall in Park Slope on Tuesday night. Apparently Cat is the roommate of Rebecca's drummer. Entering the downstairs with extremely low expectations, I encountered this woman seated in front of a gorgeous antique electric piano accompanied by a cellist, moaning out some sweat-drenched, sultry music that people ought to make babies to. Then she switched to an even-more antique guitar that "likes to be finger-picked." She charged $15 for both of her CDs, but I dropped twenty in the bin and still felt like I ripped her off. Cat Martino, I want to be your drummer. I know how those songs need to be drummed. Until then, listen here and you won't be disappointed.
--Spencer Ackerman
Brooklyn owes the charmer under me:
Goodbye to Starrett City. My elementary school friend Moses Kim lived there, and I used to love going out to what -- honestly -- seemed like a futuristic countryside to romp around at his house. His dad had some kick-ass samurai swords that we ogled like we later would women. I lost touch with Moses upon the onset of the condition known as junior high, but right now his neighbors are in trouble.

A friend of mine in Iraq e-mailed me to remind me to defend Brooklyn from the hordes. It needs defending. Cortelyou Road is now home to what appears like a douchebaggy bookshop known as (groan) Vox Pop. It promises "books, coffee, democracy." Dear Lord. Nearby is a fantastic restaurant known as the Farm on Adderly, where a chef named (I think) Cee Cee makes an insane butternut squash soup -- it really ought to make the place famous -- and prepared for me easily the best steamed bluefish I've ever tasted. Except for me and my mother, the place was filled with asymmetrical haircuts. It was hard to believe.

Worse was when I drove to Gr**np**nt to pick up Rebecca. I don't know what I expected, but I for some reason thought McKibben Park was a natural boundary to guard against the hipsters. No such luck. I wonder if the people in her neighborhood actually stand up when Jay-Z tells Brooklyn to stand up.

I recognize and accept that someone needs to point out how Florida Avenue NW is being ruined by people like me, but I still miss my old Brooklyn.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LXIII:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1215-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 30, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Sgt. Jeannette T. Dunn, 44, of Bronx, N.Y., died Nov. 26 in Taji, Iraq, of injuries suffered from a non-combat related injury. She was assigned to the 15th Sustainment Brigade, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

The incident is under investigation.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the Fort Hood public affairs office at (254) 287-9993.
--Spencer Ackerman
Knowledge God:
Josh writes:
I know there are a lot of people who either think that Iraq was a doable proposition that was botched or a project destined for failure no matter how it was handled. There are, needless to say, fewer and fewer in the former category. And I'd basically class myself in the latter one, if pushed. But both strike me as needlessly dogmatic viewpoints which make it harder to learn from the myriad mistakes that were made while telling us little about how we extricate ourselves from the mess.
Really? Determining whether Iraq was undoable from the start or died a death of a thousand compounding incompetencies would strike me as precisely the thing that will allow us to learn from the myriad mistakes made. Of course, the answer is both ultimately unknowable and won't allow us much in the way of lessons for extrication. But it's worth sacrificing a measure of certainty for drawing relevant lessons for the future.

Lesson one: determine within a reasonable probability whether a given population will accept or reject occupation; and as a derivative, under what circumstances a population will accept an occupation of a certain sort for a certain duration. I further concede from the outset that history is an imprecise guide here -- nothing in Afghanistan's history, for instance, would indicate that Afghans would by and large accept a U.S. presence for five years. But it's a pretty important question, since it sets parameters from the start for adressing the question of whether the mission is futile; whether it's difficult but ultimately worth the effort; or whether it can be expected to succeed at reasonable cost. From there, you can factor in the impact of given mistakes in given areas -- an inability to provide security, or electricity, and so forth.

Certainly this is an inexact science, but it's important to note that nearly every political and social division in Iraq that has doomed the occupation was foreseen by the National Intelligence Council before the invasion. And while not everything was foreseeable, we have a rather substantial amount of information that allowed people who were willing to seek these judgments out to make them. The fact that we had to learn about this after the occupation is an instance of Bush administration deception and manipulation of the political process. If we had this information out before the invasion -- indeed, had George Tenet not refused, in the service of Bush, to cut off CIA forecasts of postwar Iraq from the October 2002 NIE on Iraq's WMD, we could have had a much, much more open debate about the wisdom of going to war.

Now, I concede again that this is slightly off Josh's main point, and I further doubt Josh would really disagree with much of this. But we'll miss a lot of the actual lessons of Iraq if all we conclude is next time we have to flood an occupied country with troops and keep the lights on. We need to know whether or not the enterprise has a ghost of a chance of success before we invade.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LXII:
No. 1214-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 30, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Spc. Christopher E. Mason, 32, of Mobile, Ala., died Nov. 28 in Bayji, Iraq, of injuries suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire while on patrol.He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the 82nd Airborne Division public affairs office at (910) 907-1946.
--Spencer Ackerman
it's gonna be a party tonight:
Looks like my embed isn't gonna happen in December. Please, Forces Command, help me out here-- I need to do dis for January. Relatedly, it also looks like I'll be in town for the big UnfoggeDCon at ... my house.
--Spencer Ackerman
A long time ago, we used to be friends:
So about Ahmadinejad's letter to you and me. On first read, it reminded me of the full-page ads taken out in the Times to promote the ever-lasting vision and life lessons of Indian nuclear physicists and South Korean fringe preachers. Then it got me thinking: what's his game here?

There will be, surely, an effort to attribute some nefarious purpose here -- the weakening of American will against the Iranian nuclear program or some such. You know, maybe. But I wonder if Ahmadinejad is so dense as to believe sending a sensible-sounding message ("Is it not possible to put wealth and power in the service of peace, stability, prosperousness and the happiness of peoples through a committment to justice and the respect for the rights of all nations, instead of aggression and war?") will be received by someone we tend to view as a loon? It's like the Guardian's letter-writing campaign to Ohio voters ahead of the 2004 election: the messenger is suspect, and so the message is lost. Maybe he is that zealous -- it would seem to fit, but I really don't know what I'm talking about here.

Then there's the Jewish Question, which lends itself to a certain interpretation. He writes:
What have the Zionists done for the American people that the US administration considers itself obliged to blindly support these infamous aggressors? Is it not because they have imposed themselves on a substantial portion of the banking, financial, cultural and media sectors?
Now that's some old school anti-semetism! And like all old-school anti-semetism, there's some surface-level truth here: we are overrepresented in these "sectors." But only a conspiracy theorists can believe that so many Americans can be fooled for 60 years. Simply put, Americans support Israel because they see Israel surrounded by crazies like... Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and feel far more affinity to Jews than Muslims. It helps that we control the media and impose our nefarious usury on the country, but as concerns Israel, that's the whipped cream, not the sundae.

If I were inclined to give Ahmadinejad the benefit of the doubt, I'd say he looks at the American alliance with Israel and says: WTF? How can this make any sense from an American perspective? And if one doesn't exactly harbor warm feelings for Jews, conspiracies are much more appealing than easier explanations -- especially if one actually believes that Americans are "God-fearing, truth-loving and justice seeking." Because if those people like Israel, one must do some re-thinking of the Jewish Question.
--Spencer Ackerman
You's a motherfucking punk and you gon' see me with gloves:
On my way to the CVS, I passed by Sweet Black Angel, my 1981 BMW. Her rear passenger-side window was smashed and spilled green glass shards over her cherry-red leather bench back-seat. The bastards had stolen her radio. I blame The New Republic.
--Spencer Ackerman
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
mount the pavement, lick the pavement clean:
--Spencer Ackerman
carnivores live for pleasure, strike out like a wolf's endeavor:
Only two episodes of The Wire to go, but HBO is making my dreams come true in other respects. Apparently, it's getting ready to produce a show based on the greatest non-Neil Gaiman comic book of the 1990s -- Preacher:
The series -- which developed a rabid fan base -- was known for tackling religious and political issues, its dark and violent sense of humor and its observations of American culture. It also was one of the series that helped define Vertigo, the adult-oriented line of comics from DC Comics.
Ohhhhh dude. Look, come on, now. What we need to see is James Marsters playing Cassidy. Screw typecasting. I'm sorry, but this really must be done. If Marsters can convince me he's an English vampire, he can convince me he's an Irish vampire.

Who could play Jesse? Or Tulip? Or Starr? If I was casting director, and I had an unlimited budget, Starr would be Willem Dafoe. Jesse would be Jake Gyllenhaal, and not just because when I came home today Capps & Kate were watching Brokeback Mountain. Tulip I'm not so sure about, but for full-0n Buffage, I nominate Emma Caulfield. Allfather D'Aronique I want to see portrayed by The Wire's Robert F. Chew. For Arseface, the natural fit is Frank Foer, just so it's clear to viewers why Arseface's father could never love him and was forever ashamed of him.

In other news, I was at St. Marks Comics in Manhattan today and bought a to-scale muppet of Angel in 'Smile Time' for fifty dollars. He will guard my new office. Details on that coming soon.
--Spencer Ackerman
Irony is for suckers:
From Steve Hadley's memo to the Bush cabinet about Iraqi PM Nouri al-Maliki:
The information he receives is undoubtedly skewed by his small circle of Dawa advisers, coloring his actions and interpretation of reality.
--Spencer Ackerman
Hold the line! Love isn't always on time:
Eli reports that the Baker commission is going to put Israel on the table. Or, rather, an adviser to the commission, ex-CIA man Ray Close, recognizes that the most realistic way to secure support from Iran and Syria on Iraq is to indicate that distance exists between us and Israel:

Mr. Close writes that he expects the study group to urge President Bush to convene a regional conference "to enlist the support of neighboring states in establishing stability in Iraq." Among the participants in the regional conference should be "all principal states of the region," including Iran, Syria, and Israel. The inclusion of Israel, according to Mr. Close, is crucial because it will provide the only leverage by which Iran and Syria can be enticed to help stabilize Iraq.

"To have any realistic chance of success, I believe that the process would have to start with the announcement of a major initiative, promoted and vigorously supported by the United States, to reach a comprehensive resolution to the Israel-Arab crisis through a process of reasonable compromise and accommodation between Israel and its Arab neighbors," he writes.

First things first. I'd prefer it if Close, or anybody who talks about such matters, could helpfully define terms like "major initiative," "comprehensive resolution to the Israel-Arab crisis" and "regional [Iraq] conference." That is, it's helpful to establish what it is we want out of these talks -- or whether we merely want a fig leaf before we draw down troops. For instance, on the issue of sectarian reconciliation in Iraq -- or, if we want to lower our expectations, a ceasefire in the civil war -- the relevant actors are people like Moqtada Sadr and Harith al-Dhari, not Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia or Israel. Regional involvement in Iraq is real, but not especially significant from the perspective of delivering a ceasefire/reconciliation. Not that I think this can be done at all, but still.

With that in background, can't we leave Israel out of this? Consider the magnitude of what we're talking about: a) delivering a measure of stability to a multi-tiered sectarian conflict in which only the Kurds have clear leaders who can guarantee deliverability of a settlement, on the extremely long odds one can be reached; b) involving the U.S.'s oft-stated two regional enemies in an effort to bail our asses out, and one of those very enemies believes the U.S. is about to bomb it; and now, c) to convince those enemies to help out, we're going to put the region's most intractible and incendiary problem on the table, when the definition of "comprehensive resolution" means very, very different things to us (something akin to a two-state solution loosely based around the '67 borders) and to Iran (a world without Israel). Sound like a solid basis for strategy?

Of course, if the goal isn't to actually have this conference produce an Iraq settlement, but instead to provide a fig leaf for our exit, then Close is off scot-free. We should, in that case, tell everybody that everything is on the table, and then blame them when it all goes pear-shaped. Oh, wait. That's a fantasy no one will believe.

One last thing. Close is absolutely right to say that if we want to involve Iran and Syria in whatever our Iraq plans are, the price is going to be steep, and "steep" here probably means pressuring Israel. He deserves credit for laying out the price of a regional conference, rather than invoking it as a cost-free totem. I'd have preferred it if he went several steps further, but he's already a few steps beyond most.

If there's a broader point to be divined here, it's that the U.S. simply has to decide what's most important in the Middle East. An Iranian nuclear program or a promise for Iran not to interfere in Iraq? A viable, unitary Saudi Arabia or a Shiite crescent in the Middle East that will balance it? An end to Syrian support for the insurgency or the return of Pax Syriana in Lebanon? Etc, etc. Figure out what you most want, what you can live with, what you can't, and act accordingly. If some futile conference is worth selling out Israel, then by all means, sell out Israel. If not, think twice. To be really clear about this, if I believed I could solve the Iraq problem; and I further believed the cost of not solving it was a first-order national-security crisis for the U.S.; and I further believed the price of solving it is selling out Israel; then I'd think you have to sell out Israel. If not, no.
--Spencer Ackerman
You getting money? I can't get none witcha then fuck ya:
Man, I had forgotten just how brilliant Michael Rubin is.
--Spencer Ackerman
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LXI:
No. 1201-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 28, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualties

The Department of Defense announced today the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle Nov. 26 in Baghdad, Iraq.

Killed were:

Capt. Jason R. Hamill, 31, of New Haven, Conn.

1st Lt. David M. Fraser, 25, of Texas.

Pvt. Joshua C. Burrows, 20, of Bossier City, La.

Hamill and Fraser were assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 67th Armor Regiment, 4th Brigade, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

Burrows was assigned to 1st Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 2nd Bridade, 1st Cavalry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the Fort Hood public affairs office at (254) 287-9993.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LX:
No. 1204-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 28, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Lance Cpl. Michael A. Schwarz, 20, of Carlstadt, N.J., died Nov. 27 from wounds suffered while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 1st Battalion, 6th Marine Regiment, 2nd Marine Division, II Marine Expeditionary Force, Camp Lejeune, N.C.
Media with questions about this Marine can call the 2nd Marine Division public affairs office at (910) 450-6575.
--Spencer Ackerman
one, two, three, give it to me easily, my feeble mind needs time:
Matt points me to Shadi Hamid's assessment of Nouri al-Maliki. Couple months ago, Shadi and I had an online debate at TAP about the relative merits of exporting democracy (his view) vs. privileging human rights (mine). (Praktike thought we were both wrong.) While I'm perfectly willing to concede that my argument has its share of flaws, the reason I've moved away from the democracy-promotion camp in recent years is because of the sheer unsustainability of privileging elections above things like respect for human rights, the rule of law, and the other things that give liberalism its substance. To hit the crackpipe of electoral democracy in the Middle East is to wind up with the Muslim Brotherhood or Nouri al-Maliki -- and such outcomes serve neither the interests of the United States or of liberalism.

Shadi appears to be grasping this now, in despair over Iraq:
If there's been one time where I've felt that toppling a democratically-elected leader would be the moral thing to do, it is now. Of course, this is not to say we should, because we have no guarantee that the next guy would be any better (and ousting elected leaders would set a very, very bad precedent).
Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest? Let's say that waiting in the wings is Nelson al-Mandela, currently hiding out in the Baghdad Sporting Club. He would surely satisfy Shadi's "next guy would be ... better" criterion. Should we then cap Maliki, Ngo Dinh Diem-style? Is that the moral thing to do?

This, in a nutshell, is the trouble with U.S. democracy exportation: it shades into imperialism way too easily. In Shadi's scenario, we will have spent years -- and nearly 3,000 American lives -- allegedly nurturing an Iraqi electoral democracy, only to pull the plug when the outcome doesn't go our way. This isn't merely unsustainable, it's absurd, and would mean the end of any support for the war. I suspect this is why the Bush administration isn't (yet) biting on the Iyad Allawi putsch: Whatever residual American support for the war remains is there because the ideal of democracy is lovely, whereas the idea of dying for another strongman is unsellable. So we're left with a catspaw of Moqtada Sadr, terminally weakened, and unable due to events far beyond his control to run Iraq -- just as we'll be saying about Maliki's successors. Shadi, I urge you to ask:Why is this? And how can we avoid putting ourselves in this position in the future?

[UPDATE/CLARIFICATION: The headline of this post does not refer to Shadi. It refers to me. When I read that section of Shadi's post, I ran it over in my mind again and again, trying to make sure I understood what he said. Then I started singing the coda to "Entertain" by Sleater-Kinney, which is where the headline originated. When I looked back at it, I saw that it could easily appear to call Shadi feeble-minded, which I don't mean to do.]
--Spencer Ackerman
Monday, November 27, 2006
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LIX:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1197-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 27, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Marine Casualties


The Department of Defense announced today the death of two Marines who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Lance Cpl. James R. Davenport, 20, of Danville, Ind., died Nov. 22 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq.

Pvt. Heath D. Warner, 19, of Canton, Ohio, died Nov. 22 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq.

Both Marines were assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

Media with questions about these Marines can call the Hawaii public affairs office at (808) 257-8870.
--Spencer Ackerman
I got a heart, I got a mind, but I can't keep both in time:
If it was possible, I'd recommend that the U.S. hire Moqtada Sadr as a special reconstruction envoy to any country that we end up occupying in the next 20 years. It's been clear for years now that what the Mahdi Army has done in Sadr City is everything that the better angels of our nature told us we should have done in Iraq writ large: soldiers doing windows, basically -- sanitation, security, job creation, community relations -- with the added advantage of being anti-occupation Shiite Iraqis catering to anti-occupation Shiite Iraqis. This Washington Post piece about the Sadrist movement and the Mahdi Army is the best piece I've read from Iraq all year. Some choice excerpts:

Since the U.S.-led invasion in 2003, [Ayad] Fartoosi has been a militiaman with the Shiite Muslim Mahdi Army of firebrand cleric Moqtada al-Sadr. Last week, he also served as a relief worker, a policeman, a traffic controller and a guard.

So did thousands of his militia comrades who mobilized to assist victims of the deadliest attack on Iraqis since the invasion, highlighting the power associated with the Mahdi Army's less-publicized roles in Iraqi society.

"We do even more than what the government should do," said Fartoosi, 21, as he recalled the eight grueling hours after a barrage of car bombs, mortars and missiles killed more than 200 people in Baghdad's Shiite heartland.

[snip]

"Maliki, we know, is under pressure from the Americans," said Kareem Hendul, a Sadr official. "But he should realize who brought him to the chair of government. We brought him to power."

[snip]

The Mahdi Army's response to the bombings suggests that diplomatic pressure alone will not be enough to dismantle the militias. As long as Iraq's security forces are ineffective and the government and its U.S. patrons are unable to provide basic services and jobs, Sadr and his army are vital to Shiites.

Sadr is widely believed to be modeling his movement after Lebanon's Shiite Muslim Hezbollah, which has both an armed and a political wing and provides social services to its followers.

"It has proved there is no need to disarm the Mahdi Army," Salim Faisal Abid, 36, a Sadr City resident, said Friday. "If they were not there yesterday, it would have been a disaster."

[snip]

"It is not possible to disarm the Mahdi Army because these weapons we are using are to defend the innocent people and not to kill the innocent, to help the persecuted people against the persecutors," [Fartoosi] said. "I would not hand over my gun to Maliki, or to that damned Bush, even if they ask me to."

Music to James Kurth's ears! Seriously now, Sadr needs to be a case study at Fort Leavenworth and the Naval Postgraduate School. Future generations of military leaders, who are going to have to consider the aftermath of occupying foreign countries, should remember how Sadr became the strongest Shiite political figure there is: he immediately began providing for the most desperate Shiite slum in Baghdad, struck an ardently anti-occupation pose that blended religious fervor with the rhetoric of national unity, and formed an army that did what the occupier couldn't in terms of providing security. If you lived in Sadr City, and you heard the government talking about disarming the Mahdi Army, you would read this as the collaborators' attempt to leave you vulnerable so the Americans can crush you.

Anthony Shadid's excellent Night Draws Near perfectly documented how Sadr kept his peoples' bellies full, their children safe, and gave them something to believe in -- himself. Always remember, he did this after being a minor-grade cleric with a famous last name who declared a government in 2003 that no one saluted.

But here's the real lesson about Sadr. It's tempting to believe that had we just been super-awesome occupiers, doing all the stuff that the Mahdi Army did, we could have marginalized Sadr. My guess is that we could have forestalled his rise, and that's not nothing. But super-awesome occupiers are still occupiers, meaning the one thing we could never give Iraqis is a reason to believe in us, no matter whatever niceties about democracy we spewed. Sadr's attention to material issues earns him an audience, but his political charisma is based on a heady brew of Iraqi historical memory, Shiite fervor, and us. If ever Sadr could lecture at West Point, I suspect he'd say the same thing -- that as long as we go forth to occupy Muslim countries, there will be one, two, many Moqtada Sadrs ready to destroy our imperial ambitions.


--Spencer Ackerman
Brotherhood! Is in my head, it's in my thoughts, it's in my soul:
I'm in Brooklyn at the moment -- in a bizarre turn of events, I'll be addressing a terrorism class at the Cooper Union on Wednesday -- but I see that Brad DeLong has decided to send me money, and apparently there's a check awaiting me when I come home. Thank you, Brad! I have to figure out how to repay you. Please don't be shy with suggestions.

Also, I gather that Matt can show me how to put a PayPal donation button on this blog's homepage. As soon as I know, the Arkhangel American Hero MS Relief Fund will be underway. Please give generously.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LVIII:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1192-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 26, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Command Sgt. Maj. Donovan E. Watts, 46, of Atlanta, Ga., died Nov. 21 in Bayji, Iraq, of injuries sustained when an improvised explosive device detonated near his HMMWV during combat operations in Siniyah, Iraq.He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

For further information related to this release, contact the 82nd Airborne Division Public Affairs Office at (910) 907-1946.
--Spencer Ackerman
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I got no pickup lines, I stay on the grind:
Six seconds to go in the fourth. Vince Young has just quarterbacked the most amazing fourth quarter of the year against the Giants -- as you probably know, Tennessee went into the fourth down 21-0 and now lead 24-21. Hail Vince. Hook em Titans, says the kinda-sorta Giant fan.
--Spencer Ackerman
They discovered one Black Saturday that the mobs don't march -- they run:
Whoa. I just want to make it really clear that I never, ever, called for the return of Saddam Hussein. Apparently, when you're "Frankie's" best homey, you can say that shit and not fear any reprisal at TNR.
--Spencer Ackerman
Monarch to the kingdom of the dead, sadistic, surgeon of demise:
What's that we were saying about the End of the Maliki Era? Says the Los Angeles Times:
Angry Shiite Muslims pelted Prime Minister Nouri Maliki's motorcade with stones today after the Iraqi leader pleaded for national reconciliation at a memorial in Sadr City held for victims of a large-scale bombing attack last week.

Maliki, who is also a Shiite, left the scene after he tried without success to calm a crowd of mourners calling for revenge against Sunni Arabs. His pleas were met with shouts of "coward" and "collaborator."
Idiots like James Kurth imply that such displays demonstrate some ill-chosen fealty to Iran that will inevitably be consigned to the dustbin of history. Ah, if only. Maliki calling for "unity" after the Sadr City bombings is akin to Bush calling for a dialogue with bin Laden after 9/11. Bush's career would have ended immediately -- especially if his more-powerful rival/benefactor promised to cut him off if he pursued his flight of fancy. That's where Maliki is going when he goes to Amman to meet with Bush and King Abdullah.

--Spencer Ackerman
Awaiting the hour of reprisal, your time slips away:
Anne-Marie doesn't remotely have the worst piece in the most disgraceful issue of TNR in... let's say weeks. That distinction has to go to a blithering idiot named James Kurth. His argument is that in order to "demonstrate the unbearable cost and utter futility of the Islamist dream of establishing a Muslim umma under the rule of a global Sunni caliphate," the U.S. must "inflict a dramatic and decisive defeat" upon the Sunnis, which includes not only a military campaign of mass destruction but a partition of Iraq to leave them "stateless."

This may tickle the prostates of Marty Peretz, Frank Foer and Richard Just, but to everyone else, it's laughable how an argument this idiotic makes it into print. MP, FF & RJ will surely huff that TNR's role is to allow a hundred schools of thought to contend -- open the sluice gates for all that is neoconservative and neoconservativ-ish! -- but really now. First, Kurth is too stupid to realize that the reason why we haven't inficted "a dramatic and decisive defeat" upon the Sunnis is that we, you know, can't. Does he think that Generals Casey, Sanchez, Odierno, Batiste, Petraeus, Chiarelli, McKiernan, et al., are a bunch of pussies? Who wouldn't prefer inflicting defeat on the chosen enemy? Alas, Kurth is too stupid to realize that the war one gets is not always the war one wants.

This is nowhere near the stupidest thing Kurth writes. That would be his proposal to allow the Kurds to declare independence and keep the rest under the control of Moqta -- oh, whoops, Kurth doesn't quite understand that that's what his proposal to allow the Shiites perpetual control of rump-Iraq entails
. No matter -- to forestall an "Islamist regime", he writes -- and what will the Shiites have, retard? --"the Sunnis have to be subordinated so that they have no state at all." Then he spends the rest of the piece talking about other stuff. So, understand this: the thing to do is to ensure the Sunnis have nothing. The U.S. should basically become a janjaweed force of sectarian elimination. On top of that, the U.S. is fighting a broader ideological struggle to convince a billion fucking Sunnis around the world that it has no beef with them, fundamentally. I'm starting to suspect James Kurth is an agent of Usama bin Laden.

One last thing. I learned through four years at TNR that the employees there have quite a curious view of how their magazine is read. Many at TNR believe people read the magazine like TNR staffers do -- that is, draw distinctions between Marty and the staff; and between the right-wing pieces and their own. When it's pointed out that this level of Kremlinology is unreasonable to expect in an audience, they tend to get snippy. It occurs to me that it's a way of avoiding responsibility for these sorts of idiotic pieces, and to avoid ever standing up to the fools who insist on publishing them. Attention New Republic writers: This is a broadcast of Radio Free Liberalism. Rise up against your appointed masters! They will crumble at the first display of force... Let fury have the hour, anger can be power -- d'you know that you can use it?
--Spencer Ackerman
Friday, November 24, 2006
But the hangman isn't hanging so they put you on the street:
Anne-Marie Slaughter's piece in the Gigantic Self-Parody issue of TNR is among the more interesting ones. She takes a tour d'horizon and finds that Iran, Syria and Saudi Arabia are threatened by the Iraqi civil war:
If we pull out, Iran has a civil war on its borders, as do Syria and Saudi Arabia. All have good reasons to fear this scenario. Suddenly, instead of the United States being tied down in Iraq and thus unable to play a broader role in the region, Iran would find itself tied down in Iraq and thus unable to play a broader role in the region, while the United States could go back to being a regional power broker. Syria would likely see an increased flow of refugees as chaos in Iraq worsened. Saudi Arabia would need to contend with the threat posed by Iranian influence among Iraqi Shia. And all three would have to worry about the possibility of Al Qaeda gaining a permanent foothold in Iraq.
All right, not a bad proposition: we leave, and our regional adversaries/uncomfortable ally (as more or less settled-upon by bipartisan consensus) are in a world of trouble. Stunningly, AMS still finds this to be undesirable -- or, rather, an opportunity to leverage... something or other. She writes:
Against this backdrop, we and the European Union--and possibly the Russians, although Russia has a strong incentive to keep the entire Middle East on a low boil in order to maintain high oil prices--should organize an Iraqi peace conference, inviting representatives of the Shia, Kurdish, and Sunni communities within Iraq, as well as Syria, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and some of the Gulf states. ... The most important task for the United States is to make unequivocally clear that this is the last chance for all parties to negotiate while U.S. troops are still in Iraq.
To which it should be said: What? If you suppose that the U.S.'s regional opponents for hegemony are screwed if we leave, and your objective is to preserve U.S. hegemony -- use whatever euphemism you like, liberal -- then we should endeavor to leave immediately.

This is a classic example of a liberal-hawk's hawkishness undermining her liberalism, and then rebelling to subordinate her hawkishness within her liberalism
. AMS contends, in so many words, that we have a first-order interest in pulling out of Iraq and allowing the civil war to consume our adversaries instead of us. She finds this distasteful, and shameful, and not without some reason: civil wars are bad. But strategically, this is a hash of sentiment masquerading as liberalism. If we have an interest in leaving, and not in staying, get the fuck out of Iraq. And if you're not comfortable doing what's in America's interests, shut the fuck up about foreign policy and national security.
--Spencer Ackerman
my buddy, keep my gun right next to my tummy, ask the clip yo he spit metal lungies:
Behold Moqtada Sadr, the true ruler of what remains of Iraq. At present, Sadr is being challenged: the Sunnis have stormed his health ministry and bombed his stronghold. So now he's pulled rank on Nouri al-Maliki. His followers are threatening to walk out of Parliament if Maliki meets with Bush in Jordan as scheduled.

Smart move, Moqtada. Leaving Bush high and dry in Amman would stick a thumb right in the White House's eye -- the government that nearly 3,000 Americans have died for would be snubbing its benefactors. It's extremely hard to see how Maliki can acquiesce, which I gather is Moqtada's ploy. If Maliki calculates that he can't afford to snub the president, he will cut himself off from the rising Shiite power at a time when the Shiites are under tremendous threat. The question before Maliki is probably the most important he has ever faced: does he insult the Americans or his own Shiites? Whatever Maliki does, he will forfeit what remains of his political profile, and will be revealed either as Moqtada's man, or Bush's.

Look to this as the start of the end of Maliki's tenure as PM. An overwhelming 74 percent Shiites want the Americans out within the year. If he goes to Jordan, the Shiites don't need to believe in Moqtada to see Maliki as the wrong man to deliver the end of the occupation. If he doesn't, the calls will come out, loudly, in the next Congress that not another drop of American blood should be shed for the catspaw of Moqtada Sadr, or for a political process that is bending in Sadr's direction instead of the U.S.'s. I really can't overemphasize how smartly Sadr is playing this.
--Spencer Ackerman
you know me, lewd & lascivious:
On the 3rd-down official review resulting in Texas A&M's incomplete pass being ruled an incomplete pass, Susan -- wrapped in a blanket on our couch -- remarks, "there you go, Faggies."
--Spencer Ackerman
instead of treated, we get tricked, instead of kisses, we get kicked:
Krauthammer writes:
It is very hard to be a Jew today...
I know! Everywhere I go in the media, I keep bumping on my head on the glass ceiling they hold up for the Jew. It's like you can't even own Time Warner -- they just barely let Gerald Levin up in that, and I smell affirmative action. And on college campuses, forget about it! I can hardly get a word in edgewise in defending Israel's illegal land grabs. Why can't people be even-handed about this? I know, I know: anti-semetism.
--Spencer Ackerman
how can we sleep when their beds are burning:
Courtesy of Jonathan Schwarz at Tiny Revolution, here's a scanned-in capture of the minutes of what John Quiggin is calling a second Downing Street Memo. It's a February 2002 memo summaring a conversation between Australia's United Nations ambassador and a ... wheat company executive. In it, John Dauth, the ambassador, forecasts an American invasion of Iraq predicated on WMD but in truth originating out of the post-9/11 American mania. Dauth comes astonishingly close, for someone observing before the debate over UN SC Resolution 1441, to predicting the actual time frame for launching the invasion.

Downing Street this ain't. Employ Occam's Razor here: there just isn't any way that the Australian ambassador to the United Nations is privvy to any White House or Pentagon warplanning. What Dauth is doing in this meeting is giving the wheat company executive, Trevor Flugge, his read on foreign affairs in the wake of 9/11, and how Australia would react. Look, in November 2001, Lawrence wrote a cover story for TNR on the "Coming War Against Saddam." It didn't report any explosive new revelations. Instead, it fleshed out the backstory to why war was increasingly a foregone conclusion.

All this is to say that it wasn't exactly sui generis for Bush to invade Iraq. Hell, for my college newspaper's fall 2001 parody issue I wrote a fake AP dispatch reporting that the bombs were falling on Baghdad. After all, the Jew had been scheming about this one for a long ti -- um, I mean, there was a long intellectual pedigree for an invasion in right-wing circles, and the attacks created a unique political opportunity for launching the war. Even a marginal figure like John Dauth could see that.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LVII:
No. 1192-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 23, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Sgt. James P. Musack, 23, of Riverside, Iowa, died of injuries suffered in a non-combat related incident in Samarra, Iraq, on Nov. 21. Musack was assigned to the 7th Squadron, 10th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry Division, Fort Hood, Texas.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the Fort Hood public affairs office at (254) 287-9993.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LVI:
No. 1191-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 23, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Lance Cpl. Joshua C. Alonzo, 21, of Dumas, Texas, died November 22 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar Province, Iraq. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

For further information regarding this release the media can contact the Hawaii public affairs office at (808) 257-8870.
--Spencer Ackerman
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Fuck this city! Run by pigs! They're taking the rights away from all you kids!:
A big Thanksgiving FUCK YOU to the traffic-enforcement cops who keep ticketing my motherfucking car. Do you see that Zone One sticker in the windshield, motherfucker? That means I CAN PARK HERE. FUCK YOU.
--Spencer Ackerman
who's that guy just hanging at your pad? he's looking kinda *bluh*:
My old landlord, Denis, was attacked last week. He'll be spending Thanksgiving in Sibley. When I saw this story in the Examiner I was coming out of CVS and let out a cackle so loud I scared the homeless -- see, Denis is to his tenants what Mike Brown is to New Orleans -- but now I feel bad about it. Get well soon, Denis. And keep an eye out for whoever did the did.
--Spencer Ackerman
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Black as your soul, I'd rather die than give you control:
Capps and Catherine represented a Punk Rock Kitchen playing an away game. Susan, she of the broken foot, had her gastronomic muscles massaged by Capps's excellent meatloaf, mac-and-cheese and mashed combination, finished alongside Catherine's delightful citrus-walnut-feta & mesclun salad. Really perfect stuff on a blustery, bollocksed-up evening. Kanishka, Becks and I had a great meal. Until.

Until, that is, tonight's Top Chef. Yet again, the episode was defined by a juvenile flare-up courtesy of Betty Fraser. This awful creature, a decrepit 44, is the worst of all worlds: dishonest -- that was not an honest mistake on the calorie-counter challenge -- a mediocre chef, and the only person on the planet capable of making Marcel sympathetic. It's true that Marcel is hard to take, but he's not actively malicious. Betty, who is twice Marcel's age, is. To call someone selfish who helped you on your awful creme brulee is beneath the dignity of a teenager; to attempt to shift responsibility for the execution of your dish onto him is inexcusable.

Worse yet, I suspect the producers are keeping her on because of the drama factor. About Carlos -- sure, he made a pedestrian salad. But, goddamn it, the team decided on a salad course, and he was given the task of execution. No human being can reasonably be expected to slave for four hours over salad for nine people. So that leaves Betty, whose dish was a train wreck. She should have been removed on general principle for deflecting her failures onto Marcel and (I believe) Elia; and instead she remains on the show to torment all of us. I don't need to eat her "comfort food" to know I don't want to.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LV:
No. 1190-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 22, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Spc. Eric Vizcaino, 21, of New Mexico, died Nov. 21 in Balad, Iraq, of injuries suffered Nov. 20 in Samarra, Iraq, in a non-combat related incident.Vizcaino was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 505th Parachute Infantry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

The incident is under investigation.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the 82nd Airborne Division public affairs office at (910) 907-1946 or (910) 303-0691 (after hours).
--Spencer Ackerman
eater of worlds:
Hey, buddy, how was your lunch? Good sandwich? Eight-dollar salad?

You should have stopped by Punk Rock Kitchen. Today we decided to find out what a Montana survivalist would eat in northern Italy. The answer is Risottosgiving -- risotto with fresh sweet corn and wild boar prosciutto. Instead of chicken broth, we used turkey stock from the carcass of Sunday's dinner service. Damn, Capps is tearing through his portion...
--Spencer Ackerman
a name -- I recognize that name:
My Name is Rachel Corrie has been pretty roundly panned as poor theatre and tendentious politics. I don't intend to see it, and will confess to being only superficially familiar with the Corrie case -- that being, the young American activist who travelled to Gaza to stop Israeli demolition of Palestinian homes and was run over, perhaps accidentally, by a bulldozer. That said, this TNR review says way more about the mania the Corrie case gives to Zionists than it does about the Corrie case itself.

The author, James Kirchick, pretends not to know about a million and one things about how people view the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. For instance:
The selection of Corrie's writings on display never adequately explains why she would so determinedly seek out a dangerous place she knew little about, other than that she had a deep antipathy toward "injustice."
"Other than"! Is this so hard to understand? If one expresses despondence over injustice, it is not hard to see how that might lead one -- especially if one is a perhaps-fluffyheaded college student -- to be pissed off at Israel. It's sadly indicative of a certain kind of diaspora Jew that Kirchick says the play "elid[es] all of the intricacies of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict." Now, again, I haven't seem the film, and Kirchick presents a compelling case that Corrie didn't shed a tear over Israeli children murdered in the Dolphinarium or a Sbarro or just for walking down the street in their own country. But Kirchick's evident hostility to the idea that maybe the IDF doesn't have to destroy people's apartment blocks or olive groves suggests that what he really means by "intricacies" reduces merely to a slant in Israel's favor.

I'll take Kirchick's word that unspecified "people" are portraying Corrie as a new Anne Frank, and, if so, the comparison between someone who travelled to a war zone in an act of resistance and someone hunted and murdered for her heritage is plainly foolish. But this passage is idiotic:
[T]his adorable video is meant to convert your sympathy for Corrie into sympathy for her cause. How dare we ridicule such an precocious and idealistic young girl who now lies dead because of her devotion to world peace? What right do any of us have to question the cause for which Corrie gave her life?
Sorry, asshole, but yeah, how dare you ridicule Rachel Corrie? What drives you to do so, aside from an adolescent impulse to insulate yourself from asking why she died, and what drove her to put herself in danger? Is it really the wages of sympathy to Israel these days to seek to ridicule people sympathetic to the Palestinians? Even worse, Kirchick attempts to turn Rachel Corrie into a suicide bomber, in order to balm the Zionist conscience about her death. For instance, he says that Corrie has become a "Palestinian suicide martyr," knowing full well the implication of that term -- except, you know, she didn't commit suicide, nor did she murder anyone. What Kirchick is doing here, whether he knows it or not, is suggesting that if the IDF killed her on purpose, they killed her before she could kill any innocent Israelis. And he accuses others of eliding "intricacies."

I'm begging you, my fellow Zionists, to remember the universalism that drove the first Zionists to develop Zionism
. Matt recognizes that 40 years of occupation has driven the two biggest intellectual results of the Holocaust -- a resurgent Zionism and the human-rights movement -- into conflict. It is incumbent upon Zionists, not Palestinians, to remember that these things must go hand-in-hand if Zionism is to survive. To believe that the burden of Jewish history infuses Israel with a special moral blemishlessness is the surest path to an apartheid state. Be proud of yourself, Kirchick.
--Spencer Ackerman

--Spencer Ackerman
Don't be the next contestant on that SummerJam screen:
Halfway through the new Jay-Z record, and I have no idea why the new cool thing is to say he shouldn't have released it. "It starts to overflow/then the levee breaks" is a brilliant, and fairly dangerous, thing to say after "Minority Report" features a Hova on the verge of crying over the murder of New Orleans.

Kingdom Come faces unreasonable expectations. Look, half of The Black Album SUCKED. (What the fuck was "Change Clothes"?) But it's still a classic -- maybe not a Reasonable Doubt classic, but "Moment of Clarity" is one of the most brilliant introspections in the history of the genre, and "Lucifer," "Dirt Off Your Shoulder" and "99 Problems" are un-front-on-able. And it's the same thing with "Dig A Hole," "Minority Report" and "Trouble. " I don't like the "Show Me What You Got" single much, but it's more of a stretch than Amanda Mattos to say the beats are a hodgepodge. Yeah, Jay-Z has a weakness for corny R&B influences on occasion, but, for Chrissakes, he's always had that corniness on great records since Volume 2. By mid-December, there will be a backlash to the Kingdom Come-backlash and eventually, there will emerge a critical equilibrium -- and if not, the cars that blare "Dig A Hole" for years will have the last word.
--Spencer Ackerman
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
If I let you know, you can't tell nobody, I'm talkin bout nobody:

Seriously now: I'm a religious reader of the Weekly Standard's blog, written by Daniel McKievergan, largely because I find it amazing that someone so old and so wild-eyed insane can be so illiterate. And today, he doesn't disappoint, as he cheers the hiring of Marshall Wittmann to Joe Lieberman's communications team. Goody goody all around.

Just one thing, and it's not really apropos of Lieberman. McKievergan really likes John McCain. And that's cool -- so does the Standard, so do lots of people. The thing is, the guy writes about McCain like Johnny Thunders went through Chinese rocks. I don't mean to be a journo schoolmarm, but shouldn't he have some kind of disclaimer saying he used to work for McCain? Seems, you know, pertinent.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LIV:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1184-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 21, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Spc. Bradley N. Shilling, 22, of Stanwood, Mich., died Nov. 18 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near his vehicle during combat operations. Shilling was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 125th Infantry Regiment (Mechanized), Big Rapids, Mich.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the Michigan National Guard public affairs office at (571) 481-8140.
--Spencer Ackerman
no justice, no peace -- violence breeds violence!:
Goddamn it, NO! No! Justin Morneau is not the AL MVP! Recount! Where was Katherine Harris? Diebold? Atti-ca! Atti-ca!

What the fuck?
Jeter put together the most amazing season of his career, anchoring a team that suffered the loss of Sheffield and Matsui and still ran away with the goddamned division. He just barely lost a dogfight with Morneau's teammate Joe Mauer for the batting title. While everyone else's defense was suffering, Jeter remained a great shortstop, if not a Gold Glover.

I recognize that there can be no sympathy for the embarassment of riches that is Derek Jeter. But when an incredible athlete is at or near the height of his talent, he deserves to be recognized. I suppose that 97 RBI and a paltry 14 homers are not traditional MVP numbers, but the guy hit an amazing .343 and had a ginormous .417 OBP. Life is unfair.

Don't make me buy Jeter's cologne to make up for this. Please.
--Spencer Ackerman
We won't take any shit, and we're not about to leave just cause you don't like who and what we wanna be:
I got those yellow tops today: New piece from The American Prospect about the Baker-Hamilton commission's implications for both the Iraq debate and the 2008 presidential contest:
[V]iewing Baker and Hamilton's work as primarily intended for a Bush administration unwilling to change its approach is a mistake. It's true that the day after the midterm victories by the Democrats, Bush accepted the resignation of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and replaced him with a member of the commission, his father's CIA director, Robert M. Gates. But the commission itself is under no such illusion that it will have much more than cosmetic impact on the administration. When I asked someone close to the Iraq Study Group if the group intends to save Bush from himself, the source laughed. The greatest utility Baker and Hamilton's report will provide, he suggested, is for Bush's would-be successors. In one fell swoop, the commission is likely to transform the nascent 2008 presidential primary fields. By blessing withdrawal, it will unite the Democratic Party -- and rip the Republican Party wide open, along its most volatile fault line.
Enjoy, baby. I'll get those red tops in tomorrow for you.
--Spencer Ackerman
Monday, November 20, 2006
history rears up to spit in your face:
From the WTF files, New York Times edition:
Diem went on to become a highly effective national war leader. When, in August 1963, he suppressed challenges to his authority from another religious group, he again experienced an upsurge in prestige. Some American officials and journalists, however, denounced him for what they mistakenly saw as counterproductive heavy-handedness, and the officials prodded South Vietnamese generals into overthrowing him.
Huh? This is a Marine Corps University professor describing Bizarro Vietnam. What upsurge in "prestige" did Diem enjoy after supressing the Vietnamese Buddhists? From his wife? His brother? If Diem was such a "highly effective national war leader," why did the Viet Cong increasingly snatch his territory? Neil Sheehan, I gotchyer next op-ed right here.

It gets even more fanciful. This distortion of history about Vietnam is supposed to inform current Iraq policy -- in sum, to allow Nouri al-Maliki to "crush" the Shiite militias.

Just as Diem established himself because Eisenhower let him participate unhindered in a Darwinian struggle, we should give Mr. Maliki the chance to restore order as he sees fit, provided his government does not try to suppress the insurgency through wholesale violence against Sunni civilians, as some fear it will.

If we pull back our troops temporarily and let Mr. Maliki deal with Iraq’s problems using Iraqi forces, we will be able to determine more quickly whether he can save his country as Diem saved his in 1955. We will see whether he has the political skills to cut deals with local leaders, the support of enough security forces to suppress those who won’t cut deals, and the determination to prevent the obliteration of the Sunnis.

Hey fella: Maliki is beholden to the militias. The police are the militias. Much of the army is the militias. It ain't Maliki that will survive a battle royale with the militias, which goes a long way toward explaining why he's not seeking one. The insurgency provides a different set of problems: Maliki is happy to suppress and marginalize and murder the Sunnis in the name of counterinsurgency. G'head, professor, make his day. Dude, if Diem is your idea of a "highly effective national war leader," Maliki is George Washington.

--Spencer Ackerman
thinkin I won't touchya:
It's 13-3 Jacksonville over the Giants in the 3rd. It would have been 19/20-3 were it not for a face-mask pull two plays ago. Eli Manning is rapidly becoming the Namond Brice of the NFL -- completely unable to take a sack, he's throwing the ball away and even (on that last play) fumbling at the risk of a touchdown. Take the hit, Eli!
--Spencer Ackerman
I know I'm indestructible:
This one is for the Arkhangel, who truly is indestructible. The bastard survives the Iraq war, his wife walking out on him, brain cancer, and most lately a stroke -- only the stroke, it turns out, wasn't a stroke, it was MS. The VA had better fucking pay for his drugs, and his case worker needs to fucking come through for him. We're going to take a trip to Puerto Rico as soon as I come back from my own Iraq trip.

But here's what I need from you guys: MS drugs are expensive, and relying on the VA is not good strategy. If I set up a PayPal account, will you, dear reader, help me raise money for an American hero in need?
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LIII:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1181-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 20, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Lance Cpl. Jeremy S. Shock, 22, of Tiffin, Ohio, died Nov. 19 from wounds suffered while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to Marine Forces Reserve's 1st Battalion, 24th Marine Regiment, 4th Marine Division, Perrysburg, Ohio.

Media with questions about this Marine can call the Marine Forces Reserve public affairs office at (504) 678-4177.
--Spencer Ackerman
Ho, ho, ho! Seig Heil to Santa! Ho, ho, ho! North Pole Front!:
Via, um, Drudge, don't miss the end of Michael "Kramer" Richards' career. At one point, one of the men Kramer calls an N-word shouts that he's washed up, and then Kramer decided to prove the point.
--Spencer Ackerman
I got the sickest vendetta:
The YouTubing has failed, but Punk Rock Kitchen last night served up a pre-Thanksgiving feast for 15 Wire-viewing friends. Catherine, PRK's pastry chef, came to the rescue with her video camera moments before service, and so you can see my explanation of our menu here.

Kingsley and Wreck The Rat-Killer enjoyed some kick-ass turkey bones out of this. Rule #1 of PRK: Everyone Eats.
--Spencer Ackerman
Sunday, November 19, 2006
At the end of every hard day, people still find a reason to believe:
After the disaster of 2004, 2005 seemed like the Yankees' year. A re-ignited rotation of Chien-Ming Wang, Aaron Small, Shawn Chacon; the furious left-right-left-right punch of Jason Giambi, Gary Sheffield, Hideki Matsui and Alex Rodriguez; the full-spectrum dominance of Mariano Rivera. A brilliant September down-to-the-wire contest with Boston saw the Yanks go into October with heads held high. Then the Angels knocked them out in the ALDS.

2006 looked even better. There could be no more talk of a weak rotation with Wang winning 19 games, Jaret Wright unexpectedly overperforming after the All Star break and Mussina putting up career numbers. (RIP Cory.) What's more, for the first time since the days of Jeff Nelson and Mike Standon, no bullpen in the AL was better: Kyle Farnsworth, Brutal Brian Bruney, a healthy Octavio Dotel, Mike Myers KOing Big Papi in the 7th inning of Boston Massacre II: Game Five, Ron Villone as your dark horse and a certain Scott Proctor, overworked, demanding the ball, and dominant. We lost Hideki Matsui and saw the rise of Melky Cabrera, the future (with Robi Cano) of the franchise. We lost Gary Sheffield and picked up the explosive Bobby Abreu. We ran away with the AL East for the first time in half a decade. Then the goddamn Tigers knocked us out in the ALDS.

What went wrong? There's no simple answer. Somehow, over the last two seasons, the perennial contenders appeared uneasy with October baseball -- that's my simplest explanation, and it's unsatisfactory. But now longtime GM Brian Cashman is coming up with a new approach: don't let the Yankees be the Yankees. It might be the most audacious gamble Cashman has taken since taking over for Bob Michel, who rebuilt the Dynasty.

[UPDATE: Thanks to commenter Delicious, I am reminded that Bob Michel was a House GOP leader. I was thinking of Gene Michael, who was GM in the early 90s during the Showalter era and who was a GM removed from Cashman. Sorry.]

What Tyler Kepner of the New York Times is reporting is that Cashman is inclining against his typical off-season manuever of buying up the premiere available free agents and concocting outlandish trades for the marquee players of his competition. I don't need to recite the names: Johnny Damon in 2006, Carl Pavano and Randy Johnson in 2004, Alex Rodriguez in 2003. Now, Cashman is being stunningly economical, according to Kepner. He's building from within the system, privileging hoped-for future stars like Phil Hughes, who is slated to take Randy Johnson's rotation spot in 2008. Cashman wants to go young: Hughes will join farm-system-to-big-league stunners like Melky, Cano and Bruney. The acquisitions so far from the Wright and Sheffield trades have all been green relievers. On one level, it seems like overcompensation for the 2003-2005 bullpen drought. On another -- the level of strategy -- it seems like a team retooling without opting to drop a season. That would never be acceptable in the Bronx.

There are some notable caveats here. First, Cashman tried to drop 30 mil on Daisuke Matsuzaka and Theo Epstein outbid him. I can't tell whether Cashman's bid was serious, but it seems reasonable to assume that it was, since Matsuzaka's super-agent, Scott Boras, insisted the bid be blind. Second, as everyone has endlessly commented, 2006 is a pitiful year on the free-agent market: Barry Zito and Jason Schmidt are the best American pitchers out there. The biggest trade so far has been the Sheffield trade -- you know, someone dished away from the Yankees. If ever there's a year to focus on the young and the testless -- without fear of Steinbrenner's interference -- it's this one.

I'm a big Cashman fan. His performance in showing confidence, with Torre, in Cabrera and Andy Phillips after the Matsui & Sheff injuries was inspiring. The Yankees made by far the best trade-deadline shuffles in bringing Abreu and Cory Lidle to the team, boxing out their adversaries and protecting the farm system. It could be that all of these young relievers are trade bait for when someone's ready to bolt. But to me, and I don't think it's simple Yankee fandom talking, Cashman was GM of 2006. Now we learn if he'll be GM of 2007.

[FURTHER UPDATE: Eric Alterman writes to correct my Springsteen. The line in the hed from "Reason To Believe" is "At the end of every hard EARNED day..." I regret the error. Bruce once asked to meet my mom when we were working the food-donation booth for City Harvest at the final show of the Boss's 2000 Madison Square Garden homestand. When she obliged, Mom, bless her, promptly squealed, "OH MY GOD? IS THAT LITTLE STEVEN????"]
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LII:
No. 1178-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 18, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.
Cpt. John R. Dennison, 24, of Ijamsville, MD, died on Nov. 15 in Balad, Iraq, as a result of small arms fire. Dennison was assigned to 5th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

For further information related to this release, contact 82nd Airborne Division Public Affairs Office at (910) 907-1946.
--Spencer Ackerman
Saturday, November 18, 2006
black is the light that shines on my path, black is the color of freedom:
Yglesias and I couldn't figure out how to make his Bluetooth headset work with my phone. We ended up filming in his room because I have no furniture, still, after two months of living in the Heart of Dupont. Finally, in reaching for an X-Men comic he borrowed from me, I discovered something unspeakably awful had been done to it. What am I talking about? Ross Douthat and I just filmed a BloggingHeads segment. I couldn't have asked for a better debating opposite than Ross, who is everything one wants to see in a rising conservative superstar. Hope you guys like the tete-a-tete.
--Spencer Ackerman
Friday, November 17, 2006
Since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time:
Hey, Frank, great editing, buddy. You really are a credit to the magazine, and I'm a total dick. Here's what you let Bob Kagan write for you this week:

Some claim that we don't have 50,000 troops to send to Iraq. In fact, the troops are available. Sending additional forces to Iraq means lengthening troop rotations, as the United States has done in previous major conflicts. Sustaining such an increased deployment, however, will require a substantial increase in the overall size of the Army and Marines. This increase, which does not require a draft but does require money, is necessary regardless of what we do in Iraq. It is stunning that this administration has attempted to fight two wars and has envisioned other possible interventions with a force clearly inadequate for these global commitments.

And here's what he wrote with Bill Kristol this very week:

Those who claim that it is impossible to send 50,000 more troops to Iraq, because the troops don't exist, are wrong. The troops do exist. But it is also true that the Army and Marines are stretched, and that this new deployment needs to be accompanied by rapid steps to increase the overall size of American ground forces. For six years, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld refused to acknowledge that his vision of the American military of the future did not match the present reality of American military engagements in Iraq and Afghanistan and around the world. We trust the new secretary of defense will understand the necessity of dealing urgently with the manpower crisis in our military.

Hey, I didn't know you wanted to turn TNR into a Weekly Standard clip service. You're totally up there with Kinsley and Hertzberg!
--Spencer Ackerman
Put the blood on me! Smear it and say, "gorgeous," for we dream of death:
The Defense Department has now sent out five e-mails in the last 24 hours announcing Iraq casualties. Meanwhile, what does our idiot president say in Vietnam about the war he started?
In his first day in the capital of a country that was America’s wartime enemy during his youth, President Bush said today that the American experience in Vietnam contained lessons for the war in Iraq. Chief among them, he said, was that “we’ll succeed unless we quit.”
That's right, we won the Vietnam war. We took that shit! It just so happened that we got so drunk on victory that we walked off the field with a huge lead in the fourth quarter. He thinks you're even stupider than he is.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: LI:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1176-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 17, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Capt. Rhett W. Schiller, 26, of Wisconsin, died Nov. 16 in Balad Ruz, Iraq, of injuries suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire during combat operations. He was assigned to the 5th Squadron, 73rd Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne Division, Fort Bragg, N.C.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the 82nd Airborne Division public affairs office at (910) 432-0661.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: L:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1174-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 17, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Spc. Eric G. Palacios Rivera, 21, of Atlantic City, N.J., died Nov. 14 in Ar Ramadi, Iraq, of injuries suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire during combat operations. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 18th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the 1st Infantry Division public affairs office at 011-49-931-889-6408.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: XLIX:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1171-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 17, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a soldier who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Sgt. 1st Class Tung M. Nguyen, 38, of Tracy, Calif., died Nov. 14 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries suffered when his unit came in contact with enemy forces using small arms fire during combat operations. He was assigned to the 2nd Battalion, 3rd Special Forces Group, Fort Bragg, N.C.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the U.S. Army Special Operations Command public affairs office at (910) 432-6005.
--Spencer Ackerman
civilized man, you were keeper to me -- now your animal is free, and you're free to die:
Marty writes:

Even the bare rudiments of civilization will not soon come back to the banks of the Tigris and the Euphrates.
That's exactly right. The Iraqi civil war will be fought with rocks and sticks. Imagine the danger if they realized how to harness fire! Lucky for us that the savages have not learned how to use the wheel, which should limit their mobility somewhat.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: XLVIII:
No. 1171-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 17, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualties

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Nov. 14 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat operations.

Killed were:

Col. Thomas H. Felts Sr., 45, of Sandston, Va. He was assigned to the Command and General Staff College, School of Advanced Military Studies, Fort Leavenworth, Kan.

Spc. Justin R. Garcia, 26, of Elmhurst, N.Y. He was assigned to the 1st Battalion, 23rd Infantry Regiment, 3rd Stryker Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Infantry Division, Fort Lewis, Wash.

For further information on Felts' death the media can contact the Fort Leavenworth public affairs office at (913) 684-1718.

For further information on Garcia's death the media can contact the Fort Lewis public affairs office at (253) 967-0147 or (253) 967-0154.
--Spencer Ackerman
bow down, bow down -- God will infest you with maggots, my son:
Oh, Leon! Why? You studied under Sir Isaiah! How could you ever, ever, write this line:
For three-and-a-half years, the Iraqis have been a free people.
You knew him and I didn't. But I daresay Isaiah Berlin would have upbraided you for saying this. No, my friend, chaos is not freedom, the Iraqis were never free, and as Becker and Fagan put it, only a fool would say that.
--Spencer Ackerman
there's an island way out in the seas, where the babies, they all grow on trees:
Congratulations to Josh and Millet on the birth of little Sam, a new warrior for truth in an often-frustrating world.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: XLVII:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1167-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 16, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Army Casualties

The Department of Defense announced today the death of two soldiers who were supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom. They died Nov. 13 in Baghdad, Iraq, of injuries suffered when an improvised explosive device detonated near their vehicle during combat operations. Both soldiers were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 26th Infantry Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Schweinfurt, Germany.

Killed were:

Pfc. Daniel J. Allman II, 20, of Canon, Ga.

Pfc. Jang H. Kim, 20, of Placentia, Calif.

For further information related to this release the media can contact the 1st Infantry Division public affairs office at 011-49-931-889-6408 or 011-49-931-889-6409.
--Spencer Ackerman
Thursday, November 16, 2006
no bodies quite like you, love is suicide:
Two working definitions of Decadent Neoconservatism :

1. He who supports a bus drivers' strike in Teheran but not in Tucson

2. A liberal mugged by fantasy (thanks to Yglesias)
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: XLVI:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1165-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 16, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Lance Cpl. Michael D. Scholl, 21, of Lincoln, Neb., died Nov. 14 from wounds sustained while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq. He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.

Media with questions about this Marine can contact the Hawaii public affairs office at (808) 257-8870.
--Spencer Ackerman
What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: XLV:
NEWS RELEASES from the United States Department of Defense

No. 1166-06 IMMEDIATE RELEASE
November 16, 2006
Media Contact: (703) 697-5131/697-5132
Public/Industry(703) 428-0711

DoD Identifies Marine Casualty

The Department of Defense announced today the death of a Marine who was supporting Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Lance Cpl. Mario D. Gonzalez, 21, of La Puente, Calif., died Nov. 14 while conducting combat operations in Al Anbar province, Iraq.He was assigned to 2nd Battalion, 3rd Marine Regiment, 3rd Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force, Kaneohe Bay, Hawaii.
Media with questions about this Marine can contact the Hawaii public affairs office at (808) 257-8870.
--Spencer Ackerman
there's just one small problem: if you fuck my ass well, it'll HURT LIKE HELL!:
Although I lent my Gayrilla Biscuits record to my tattoo artist, it hasn't stopped me from coming up with new gay-core band names. Two I think would be especially great:

* P-Town Concrete -- for your metalcore queer sound

* Homo Superior -- more of a '90s basement-hardcore enterprise

Who's gonna start these bands?
--Spencer Ackerman
Like my man Mohammed from Afghanistan, grew up in Iran -- the n**** runs a neighborhood newsstand:
My American Prospect piece on the Baker-Hamilton commission will be available in a few days, but I note with regret that I missed the heart of the issue. What I should have demanded of the Iraq Study Group is an expansion of the war into Iran and Syria.

Oh, wait. I'm not Michael Ledeen.

Ledeen is a friend of my friend Eli Lake, so I have to believe that there's a sensible man in there somewhere. But his column today is another instantiation of his argument that the war on terror reduces to a problem with Iran and Syria. It would be nice if al-Qaeda played a role in Ledeen's thinking, but we can't always get what we want. Why we should welcome a war with Shiite Islam as well as bin Ladenist Salafism is... a bit obscure to me, but, it frightens me to concede, if you will it, it is no dream.

For the life of me, I just don't understand this:
Serious policies must aim at regime change in Tehran and Damascus. This does not require a military invasion of either country, but it does require active support for anti-regime political groups, combined with an explicit declaration that we want an end to the tyrannies. As a starter, it would be nice to have the Justice Department indict the Iranian leaders. . .

[snip]


A free Iran would most likely become an instant ally in the war against terror, reversing the balance of power in the Middle East in a single, non-violent stroke. Hezbollah would be deprived of its source of money, materiel and guidance, and would shrivel up, awaiting last rites. Al Qaeda, many of whose leaders moved to Iran from Afghanistan in 2002, would be similarly damaged, as would Islamic Jihad and Hamas, two of Tehran’s major clients. And the information from Iranian intelligence files would turn over many rocks in many swamps, all over the world, probably including our shores.
An "instant ally in the war on terror," eh? "Reversing the balance of power in the Middle East in a single, non-violent stroke," eh? I recall we were made these promises about Iraq. Also, anyone who aims to reverse a balance of power -- what it means to "reverse" a balance of power I couldn't say -- in one fell swoop is probably a spectacularly bad imperialist. (What would Lord Curzon say?) The sweetener about all this business being "non-violent" is a lovely thing as well.

Plus -- and someone please answer this for me -- didn't Ledeen help sell weapons to the Iranian regime? I mean, doesn't that make him, like, a catspaw to the Terror Masters or something?
--Spencer Ackerman
--Spencer Ackerman
This ain't nuttin new: I been here before -- grandma crib, n****s outside a' her door:
Via Matt, I see Laura has a reported Los Angeles Times op-ed revealing that the Bush administration is considering tilting back toward the Shiites in Iraq. Clearly this is a move of pure what-the-fuck-else-can-we-do exhaustion. And, as Matt points out, we've been here before -- during the all-praises-due-Sistani era of winter-spring 2004 and the purple-finger moment of spring 2005. But it's worth pointing out the costs of actively combating a civil war, as I did in this September 2005 TNR piece (back when it looked -- yes, again -- that we were about to do this):
But Bush might well remember that his supposed rationale for invading Iraq is to advance the war on terrorism, which is, in no small part, about convincing millions of Sunnis worldwide that the United States is not opposed to their religion. Directly supporting the Shia against the Sunnis in Iraq is about as counterproductive to the broader war as invading Iraq itself has proved. "I'm not sure the U.S. government could or should--it certainly shouldn't--pit the Sunnis and the Shia against each other," says Richard Clarke, the former Clinton and Bush counterterrorism adviser. "Not that it's in our interest." Unfortunately, in Iraq, acting against U.S. interests is about the only thing Bush has done successfully.
--Spencer Ackerman