The return of Top Chef means the return of Amuse-Biatch. Last season, AB exposed Micah's secret Massachusettsness (dubbing her "Fauxmicah") and got Brian ("Asshat") to bitch about it on one of the Bravo post-elimination webisodes. Here's my project for AB this season. It involves Soulja Boy.

There's still some mileage to be cranked out of "Crank Dat." Basically, Amuse-Biatch needs to convince Soulja Boy to do a Top Chef version. Either that or cut together a greatest-hits YouTube to the "Crank Dat" theme. Extra points for filming Miss XaXa and Charlus cranking dat. But no matter what, it must include these lyrics that Kriston Capps wrote: "We don't do Supaman no mo'/ We jus' Tom Colicchio." Now yoooooooooou.