Mitt Romney is on the couch, in his pajamas, under the covers -- he brought the covers to his couch so he could be more comfy watching TV, as he didn't sleep last night -- unshaven, smelling bad, shoveling soup-spoons-full of the Vermonster into his mouth, and thinking to himself, "Stupid jerk! If only you had stayed in the race three more mother-loving weeks! You really pulled a you-know-what this time!"