Monday, February 12, 2007
and i can feeling it building -- failure:
It was to be a thing of beauty: a pork chop with a pomegranate-wine sauce, creamy mashed potatoes and rosemary-steamed carrots. Instead, I managed to completely fail at making dinner.

Putting my water up to boil for my carrots and potatoes, Catherine and I exhaustedly collapsed in front of a TV blaring How I Met Your Mother, a truly horrible show. The horror compounded: I glared at Catherine after every inept joke, as if she were responsible for me watching this nightmare, until it became a joke to us, and suddenly something smells acrid and awful. The carrots outlasted their water and fused their charred husks to the pot. Meanwhile, the potatoes remained stubbornly immune to the effects of boiling water. My seasoned chop stared at me from the cutting board, as if to say, Top Chef 4, huh, motherfucker?

I shut the whole thing down, put everything in Ziplocs and Tupperware in anticipation of a more competent future and ate a pickle for dinner. It also turns out I slashed my pinky fingernail with my knife while washing up. I am asymptotically approaching total failure.
--Spencer Ackerman
Perhaps one of the saddest yet most hilarious blog posts I've ever read.
Blogger Eric the Political Hack | 7:34 PM

That's why they invented microwaves, dude!
Blogger tft | 8:56 PM

Okay, but if it's really asymptotic, you'll never actually get there.

So, you got that going for you, which is nice...
Blogger Dualarity | 5:08 AM

That show's actually good. I hate "Friends" and "American Idol" with a fiery passion so I do have taste. Sorry your dinner became a debacle.
Blogger Jason | 7:40 AM

Somewhat offtopic, but did Zengerle steal a joke from the Daily Show:

"In a Democratic primary field packed to the gills with candidates whose election would represent a monumental political first--Hillary Clinton would be the first woman elected president, Barack Obama the first African American, Bill Richardson the first Latino, Dennis Kucinich the first elf--it's tough for a middle-aged white guy like Vilsack to earn a place for himself in the political history books."

vs.

"A win for any of these candidates would make presidential history. Be it: [Shot of Clinton] The first female president, [Shot of Obama] the first african-american president, [Shot of Richardson] the first latino President, [Shot of the Kucinich] the first leprechaun president or [Shot of Edwards] the first mimbo! Now obivously I left out Chris Dodd (Democrat Connecticut). [pause] Okay, which such a crowded field..."

Obviously it's not straight plaigerism but swap Vilsack and Dodd for the and-now-here's-a-white-man ending and they look pretty similar.
Blogger Jacob | 1:59 PM

dude, did you tape it for our project or what!?
Blogger buddha_drinks_fanta | 5:34 PM

How does the acidity balance out in a wine-pomegranate sauce?
Blogger The Special | 10:24 AM