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we got that PMA, we got that attitude What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: C... What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: C... What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: C... What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: CXCV What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: C... the sacred and the profane: both lie in your domain but i don't want to see it at my windowsill got this feeling when i heard your name the other day What gives you the right to fuck with our lives: CXV Monday, February 12, 2007
and i can feeling it building -- failure:
It was to be a thing of beauty: a pork chop with a pomegranate-wine sauce, creamy mashed potatoes and rosemary-steamed carrots. Instead, I managed to completely fail at making dinner.
Putting my water up to boil for my carrots and potatoes, Catherine and I exhaustedly collapsed in front of a TV blaring How I Met Your Mother, a truly horrible show. The horror compounded: I glared at Catherine after every inept joke, as if she were responsible for me watching this nightmare, until it became a joke to us, and suddenly something smells acrid and awful. The carrots outlasted their water and fused their charred husks to the pot. Meanwhile, the potatoes remained stubbornly immune to the effects of boiling water. My seasoned chop stared at me from the cutting board, as if to say, Top Chef 4, huh, motherfucker? I shut the whole thing down, put everything in Ziplocs and Tupperware in anticipation of a more competent future and ate a pickle for dinner. It also turns out I slashed my pinky fingernail with my knife while washing up. I am asymptotically approaching total failure. --Spencer Ackerman
Perhaps one of the saddest yet most hilarious blog posts I've ever read. |
