Friday, March 07, 2008
bitch please you must have a mental disease:
Katha Pollitt punks Charlotte Allen so thoroughly that Allen's career may be over. John Pomfret's too. To the ribs:
But uh-oh: I used to watch "Grey's Anatomy" from time to time, and I even shed some tears when Denny died. Maybe being female has turned my "pre-frontal cortex into Cream of Wheat" after all.
To the stomach:
Women even read fiction by men and about men, further evidence of their imaginative powers -- while men, if they do pick up a novel, make sure it's estrogen-free. Who's really the dim bulb, the woman who doesn't see the beauty of "Grand Theft Auto," or the man who thinks Tom Clancy is a great writer?
And then the jaw:
For Allen, it's definitely the woman: her brain is just too puny. She cannot mentally rotate three-dimensional objects in space -- and that, as we all know, is the very definition of smarts. Funny how that definition keeps changing, as women conquer field after field that was supposed to be beyond them. In the 19th century, physicians insisted women couldn't cope with college: studying would send rushing to their brains the blood that was needed for the womb. Back then, nobody credited women with the superior verbal abilities and memories Allen says scientists now find women to possess.
My friend Sally grew up in Elizabeth, NJ, and once described for me how girlfights escalated there. Basically, each combatant tells her crew to hold her stuff -- purse, rings, etc -- so she can tear the other girl's weave out unencumbered. DefCon 4 was "Hold My Baby." Charlotte Allen: grab your Glocks when you see Katha Pollitt. Call the cops when you see Katha Pollitt.
--Spencer Ackerman