When I was 14 until I was 18, I went to high school with the poet-musician currently known as Rebecca Roulette. When I was 19 until I was 21, I worked and wrote for New York Press. And now that I'm 27, not only do I drum in a side-project band with Rebecca's guitarist/boyfriend Rory, but the Rebecca-Rory supergroup known as the New York Times is profiled in this week's New York Press. It truly is bewildering, the way the universe revolves around me.

My eye is drawn to this quote, however:

“I love Heavens to Betsy and Bikini Kill,” gushes Rebecca, asserting her affinity for the early ’90s riot grrl bands. “It’s hard for me as a vocalist not to be influenced by the musicians I loved when I was 15.”

Bitch, please! I knew you when you were 15. We both know you were not listening to Heavens to Betsy back then. You were listening to Hole. And you were writing me obnoxious Valentine's Day notes attacking my punk-rock credibility. You should know better than to be fronting in public.