George Piro, the FBI official who spent seven months interrogating Saddam Hussein -- he used cookies and gardening privileges instead of torture -- tells us Saddam's thoughts on the man Bush said was his best buddy.

Scott Pelley: Among the most important questions for U.S. intelligence was whether Saddam had been supporting al-Qaeda, as had been claimed by some the Bush administration. What was his opinion of Osama bin Laden?

Piro: He considered him to be a fanatic, and as such was very wary of him. He told me you couldn't trust fanatics.

Pelley: Didn't think of bin Laden as an ally in his effort against the United States, in this war against the United States?

Piro: He didn't want to be seen with bin Laden. And didn't want to associate with bin Laden.

Pelley: Did he think that bin Laden was a threat to him and his regime?

Piro: Yes.

Aha! See, all Piro said was Saddam didn't want to be seen with bin Laden! Of course Saddam wouldn't! This clearly means that behind the scenes they were conspiring against the U.S.! Bush was right! Steve Hayes was right! The right was right! You were right! We were right!

Update: Parody is sometimes impossible.