So I entered the Tony Bourdain No Reservations fan contest. Basically, you pitch Tony on a place/culture/cuisine to center an episode around, and then explain why you're the one to take him there. With the aid of Marissa Long and Catherine "Now on Tumblr" Andrews, I shot a three-minute video about taking him to Kurdistan, meeting up with my Dudes Gharib and Soran, and checking out a safe place on the cusp of total destruction where for some reason everyone loves reggaeton. I think I'll win. (Oh, and also I told a story about the time my high-on-ecstasy friend C******** tried to hump Tony at Siberia. Anyways!)

But this veteran goes all out and pitches Tony on real-deal-Iraq. That's a suicide mission, but if he can figure out how to keep them safe, I hope he wins. (Stupid embed code seems not to work.)

Update: Buried the lede! Please please please, do like blogger-superstar Ezra Klein and vote for my No Reservations video. Help me, THFTNR readers! It'll take like a second.